Shinra Zolom Scare
by uchihapunk
Summary: Family traditions don't you just love em. In this story you get to see Sephiroth's family tradition of gifting a Midgar Zolom to the person they want to marry. Hilarity ensues. May become a story if enough people want it to be. Story inspired by EnideDear who agreed to let me use her idea from Family Bliss which you have to read in my story.


Allright then here it is the long awaited oneshot titled Shinra Zolom Scare. Make sure to read the authors note at the bottom kay.

Read and Enjoy!XD

**Normal POV**

The morning of the day when Shin-ra workers got the biggest scare seemed like any other morning at the Shin-ra Office. Everyone got up to the sound of their alarm clock grumbling and complaining as they took a shower and got dressed. On the way there they either stopped at starbucks to get coffee or got some at the office while running late. I bet you all are wondering how they didn't see anything yet, well it's because the thing that scared them all has yet to appear, but it will very soon, make no mistake of that.

Cause as soon as lunch time rolled around the sight that scared all Shin-ra employees appeared right outside of a certain silvered haired General's office. It was a very unfortunate Cadet Cloud Strife that was the first to notice the huge Zolom. He openly gawked at it for a minute before yelling, "what the hell is that?!"

**Sephiroth****'****s POV**

I came back from the area outside of Midgar lugging a huge Midgar Zolom on a stake trying to figure out how to sneak it in. I already had a half a dozen or so ideas each more ridiculous than the last. The most ridiculous one of them all had to do with paint, a sheet, a mop, a cape, one roller skate, and a pineapple. Don't ask me what the pineapple was for because I won't tell you, I'm ashamed of myself for that part of the plan, I'm just glad I didn't try it. As I was thinking some more I saw a Shin-ra lumber truck roll into Midgar and right then I had an idea.

I carefully put down the zolom and used barrier on it so no monster would not eat it, and quickly dashed to one of the many lumber trucks parked outside of Midgar. I picked the lock got in hotwired the truck and quietly drove it away from the gates. As soon as I was far enough away I gunned the engine and sped off to the zolom. Sure enough, when I got there I saw a bunch of monsters trying to get past the barrier and eat the zolom. I quickly took care of them with one slash of masamune and went up to the zolom.

I took the barrier down and carefully loaded the zolom onto the lumber truck. I then carefully covered it up with a tarp and secured it tightly, I didn't want it to come loose and hurt the zolom. I then disguised myself by cleaning up and dressing myself in regular clothes, putting on sunglasses and piling my hair under a cap to hide them. I drove up slowly to the gates of Midgar and got waved in by a bored looking guard.

'I got to remember to tell the head of security that his guards are acting rather carelessly,' I thought, 'or it could end in a important someone's death.' I had an image of a very fat and ugly President Shin-Ra getting killed and thought that that wasn't a very bad idea. It actually sounded quite nice in my opinion; I took a moment to satisfy myself with the image before returning to the task ahead.

I slowly drove up to Shin-ra and carefully set it outside my office window after having found out it was too big to get it up to my room. I then took a long luxurious bath, got dressed, went to my office nodding to the secretary on the way there, and relaxed admiring my zolom out the window. When lunch time rolled around I looked out the window again and smiled in satisfaction as I saw a cute cadet stare at it then saying, "What the hell!?"

That is when the most amusing event (in my opinion) started.

**Angeal****'****s POV**

I was just minding my own business eating my lunch thinking that the day has been going good so far, too good to last that is. I was right because not two seconds later I heard someone outside yelling, "what the hell is that!?"

I sighed and decided to look out the window and what I saw made my jaw drop.

Outside my window I could see a huge Midgar Zolom with a stake through its body outside Sephiroth's office. I took a moment to calm down before looking at the zolom again sighing to myself again when I realized why I saw one there. 'I thought I told Sephiroth to stop bringing dead trophies back to Shin-ra,' I thought, 'He knows it scares the shit out of everyone.' I took a deep breath rubbing my temples with my finger and thumb before getting up and leaving my office.

**30 Minutes Later**

**Genesis****'****s POV**

I looked on in amusement as the fat bastard President Shin-Ra started yelling at Sephiroth for scaring pretty much all of Shin-ra with his latest trophy. I personally thought it was the most hilarious thing to ever happen here. The look on everyone's faces when they saw the zolom and especially what the first person who saw it did. I of course was lucky enough to be outside my office trying to stay incognito so I wouldn't have to do my paperwork. I saw Sephiroth try to sneak it into the soldier building and when that didn't work he set it outside his office and stared at it outside his window.

I also saw when lunch time rolled around an unfortunate cadet came outside to eat and stared at the zolom before yelling, "what the hell is that!?"

It was very very hilraious event (in mine and probably Seph's opinion), but I don't think anyone else thought it funny though. Angeal is shaking his head probably thinking why Sephiroth didn't listen to him about not bringing dead trophies home. The Puppy well he's probably a cross between laughing his ass off and worrying about the cadet (who is apparently his friend) being the first to find the zolom. Sephiroth I know is trying to keep both a smirk off his face and to keep from laughing his ass off from the situation.

'Now that I think about it that cadet friend of Zack's is pretty cute,' I thought, 'maybe I should pay him a visit.'

I was pulled out of my thoughts when the President stopped yelling and Sephiroth started speaking.

**Sephiroth****'****s POV**

I was trying very hard not to smirk or laugh my ass off as the fat bastard started yelling at me. I mean it's not that big of a deal, it's not like I tried to keep it as a pet like I did with a baby dragon I found one time. Even though a lot of people thought it was amusing, it seems didn't like the fact that a baby dragon lit his hair on fire for trying to hurt his mama. Even Angeal later admitted it was the most amusing thing to happen in his life. Everyone hated Hojo even Zack did, and he usually likes everyone he meets.

After he was done yelling himself purple I said," it's not that bad, it's not like I tried to keep it as a pet like I did with that baby dragon I found one time." I saw a lot of people trying and failing not to grin in remembrance of that event, all except for President Shin-Ra who never thought it was funny and Hojo who looked pissed off at the mention of the dragon incident.

After yelling at me for a little longer he told everyone to get out and for me to get rid of that zolom. Which I did not like at all, because it was a lot of trouble to get it into Midgar and outside my office window.

**Genesis****'****s POV**

As we filed out of the room I saw Seph start to sulk because the President told him to get rid of the zolom. So I decided to distract him "so," I said, "how did you manage to get that zolom inside Midgar?" He brightened up immediately" you see Gen," he started, "I was wondering how to get it inside when I saw a lumber truck roll inside Midgar. I then carefully put down the zolom and used barrier on it so no monster would not eat it, and quickly dashed to one of the many lumber trucks parked outside of Midgar. I picked the lock got in hotwired the truck and quietly drove it away from the gates. As soon as I was far enough away I gunned the engine and sped off to the zolom. When I got there I saw a bunch of monsters trying to get past the barrier and eat the zolom. I quickly took care of them with one slash of masamune and went up to the zolom."

I took a breath before continuing, "I then took the barrier down and carefully loaded the zolom onto the lumber truck. I then carefully covered it up with a tarp and secured it tightly. I then disguised myself by cleaning up and dressing myself in regular clothes, putting on sunglasses and piling my hair under a cap to hide them. I drove up slowly to the gates of Midgar and got waved in by a bored looking guard."

I took another breath, "and that is how I got the Zolom in here."

**Zack's POV**

I listened as Seph recounted the tale of how he managed to get the Zolom into Midgar and was amazed. My mentor Angeal looked dissapointed, " the security is that lax," he said, someone could get killed." He shook his head, but Genesis grinned and said, " wouln't it have been great if that did happen and both Hollander Hojo were both killed?"

Everyone smiled at that even Angeal cause noone really liked both those mad scientists at all not even me. I then remembered something, "oh, I almost forgot I have to check to see if spike is alright after that little scare of his."

**Genesis's POV**

I perked up immediatley when the puppy mentioned the cute blond cadet from earlier. "Mind if I come with you Zack, I'de like to meet this friend fo yours?" He beamed, " sure why don't Seph and Geal come too. I'd like to Zack," Angeal said, "but unfortunatley I am too busy at the moment, another time though." Zack slumped foward before saying, "yeah, maybe next time.

He perked up quickly though, "but Seph can come right Seph." He looked up at Seph with hope shining in his eyes, But before Seph could say anything Geal said, "you also have work Sephiroth, so no."

I decided to step in then, "you know Geal, we haven't played hooky in a long time, "I said, "so why don't we skip work and visit Zack's friend." Angeal looked thoughtful for a moment, "alright, but only because we haven't skipped work in a long time." We all cheered, "But, Angeal said, "as soon as this is over we get back to work alright."

"Yeah yeah we got it Geal," I said, "we will do our work after our little rebellion is over don't you worry."

"Alright then, Zack said, "Let's go!

...Let's just say what happened afterwards was total chaos...

So how did you like it? Good? Bad?

Review and tell me how you like it. Plus if I get enough reviews I may make this oneshot into a story. Let me know if you like the idea okay.

Ja Ne...


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